where was I again....???

It's been a helluva week.
I can hardly put any of this in chronological order ... so I'll type (think) randomly.
At one point I essentially decided to completely scrap my 'working' AR idea and go with something at a different place where I put in hours.  No, this other place (King County Library) isn't the passion in my heart, but it's something I believe strongly about doing - at least for this time in my life.  (NetMaster position, teaching basic PC and internet skills to folks in our community...sometimes we - I - forget that the most basic of computer tasks are huge mountains for some people...things like attaching to an email, using Word, understanding the Internet and all it's 'simple complexities' - the stuff we whiz through these days, some are unable, for one reason or another, to accomplish)
I had a phone discussion with Paul about my new idea - to work with the library rather than the university with which I am affiliated.  I had done a lot of "awfulizing" in my head ... I've cut back on my work to concentrate more on Grad School, I'm *only* an assistant to ONE prof this year with *no* classes to myself, the administration seems to be more and more callus each year...the profs and the admins are literally taking sides and digging in their collective and metaphoric heals (though I work with one of the most powerful profs on campus, I was afraid that would not be enough, I didn't want to be involved in those sorts of politics), and to frost the cake: my closest colleagues are basically against my ideas -- despite my efforts to present them in the manner in which Paul suggested (come at them on their "needs" area).  Word got around about what I was doing and I was told by my closest friend (colleagues) that Vanguard was far more into implementing technology in their classroom (particularly humanities) and I should go work with them.  As a note, NU isn't AGAINST all technology in the classroom...in fact, we use quite a bit.  I just believe it could be elevated to a far higher level, which would make the school more competitive, it would cause students to think twice about attending NU *instead* of SPU or UW (or any other college, for that matter).
These seemed like FAR MORE than FORCES in my FIELD..........I didn't feel I had the moderate power required to conduct Action Research.
Paul and I talked about the CBAM - a model of people development, so I did a bit of research on it.  I think I can work with this .... a long with a suggestion Paul made: ASK FOR A FAVOR.
First, this is a diagram that I really connective with ... much because of the steps UP - it's how I see it in my mind...not just meeting the student where (s)he is, but improving the quality and methods as well...constantly.
CBAM model "steps"

The model is located within the page via the link above.

Also, I need to make it personal.  I thought I did.  However, instead of concentrating on 3 people with which to make it personal, I chose ONE...one that is NOT in the department I would eventually be teaching full-time, but it's damn close.  And this prof is definitely my closest ally.  The close friend within my own department is too unwilling to be open-minded, so I will come at all this through a different angle, a back door, per se. 
More to come on all that.

The Wiki stuff is too difficult to blog about right now.   I was sitting for quite sometime stewing over the ridiculousness of the Mindmaps Wiki and how it was allowed to become so out of control.  It is - in my opinion - un-usable.
When I got with my group.........I was ECSTATIC to hear BOTH of them say it, before the words ever came to my mouth.  To be honest........I don't feel I can say anything that is truly on my mind without very careful consideration -- and most of it is left unsaid.  I feel unsafe within the forum and have suspicions and paranoia. 
I felt, in the beginning, that we are all ADULTS, we've been in the world, we know the routine - many of us have seen some hardcore sh** and honestly, I didn't think I had anything to worry about...when it came to offending anyone with my personal opinion.  I was wrong.  I'm not allowed to disagree with things I see, if everyone else in the class is conveniently agreeing (we have a lot of work, I know it's easier to say something polite and kind...move on & do more work...I just don't choose to work in that manner).
And, although I (naively) assumed we are all very familiar with the difference between work/school and our PERSONAL lives....I found out differently this week.  I had to take a few classmates off my main FB page, for fear that they would confuse my own personal opinions about life (religion, politics, children, the weather...) with anything I post on a PROFESSIONAL school website.  The two DO NOT combine and I draw a clear line about what I will say on MY Facebook page as opposed to a Sakia thread....or even in these blogs (the blogs are somewhere in the middle but lean heavily toward the school/work aspect).
Okay, now that THAT is off my chest - I'm putting it on a balloon and releasing it into the sky...
It's funny how life's lessons are learned a LOT through education -- I forget about how friends 'work' and how to watch my back, etc.  I'm reminded when I get into group projects and also when just simply trying to talk to my own colleagues about what our University might be lacking and how we can improve.